Personal Narrative...eww...

Back then, money wasn't a problem, we used to run about all day, not a care in the
world. We hardly knew what money was. Just nonsense on green strips of paper. Then,
somewhere down the line, things started changing. Gradually, that jagged red line running across
the grid began to make sense.

Luxuries became limited as our normal monthly expenditures increased. Our weekly
dinner outings moved from formal dining, to fast food joints. It was strange at first, dealing with
long lines, the undeniable smell of grease, the inaudible ramblings of the noisy consumers around
us, but after five years of being in places like this, shopping at generic stores, and haggling pawn
shop clerks, these major annoyances had become minor grievances.

I always thought I'd hit rock bottom. The thought of me not caring about my meager life
style had me worried. My days were consisting of me, my couch, and my television. My parents
kept trying to convice me that I had become, "anti-social." I wasn't. They kept insisting I had
low, "self-esteem." They couldn't seem to get around the idea that it wasn't my self-esteem that
was low, it was my esteem for everyone else. Having my blissful life taken away from me was
starting to make me realize: Life ain't easy. This, though, was no "rock bottom." I figured I was
a lot happier like this. Knowing life from another perspective made me feel like my old life of
frills was just a big lie.

A lot happened that summer. I wasn't ready to say good-bye to my friends in TV Land,
but whatever. I figured going back to school would just be another brief nine months of being
surrounded by idiots. I won't deny it, though, I wished I could go back to being an idiot with
them, but that was wishful thinking. Then again, who would want to leave a life of redundancy?

My life lacked direction. My graduation was only two years away, and I hadn't even
tinged on thoughts of my life after high school. A career of working on an assembly line was
probably the best I could wish for. No money to pay for college. I didn't even have any odd
talents to exploit. I didn't have a very wide selection of choices. I could either keep on living
my meaningless span, or I could join the military. Might as well take the latter. Atleast with that,
there would be a chance I could kill a man or two before being sent to an early grave. That idea
felt a whole lot more rewarding.

This is my life up to now. No real hopes. No real dreams. I'm just taking whatever life
decides to throw in my face. It's a lot easier than decision making. Sure, that mentality does
seem a bit short-sighted, but I always figured I was just playing my part. If the world is just a
stage, it needs people in the audience too.